Can you hear me now?
by xoxAmyxox
Summary: Olivia is kidnapped and forced to watch the torture of a 16 year old girl. The ordeal is so horrific she can’t speak. Will she ever be the same again and can she ever work with Special Victims now she is one herself? E/O CHAPTER 14 NOW UP!
1. Olivia

**A/N I'm not sure where this is gonna go, but I thought I'd post this chapter anyway. **

**Olivia is kidnapped and forced to watch the torture of a 16 year old girl. The ordeal is so horrific she can't speak. Will she ever be the same again and can she ever work with Special Victims now she is one herself?**

**If anyone has any ideas to develop on the story behind the kidnapping, let me know- I will credit you for you're ideas!**

**It's the sort of one that starts where it ends if you know what I mean.**

**Dislaimer: Law and Order SVU does not belong to me. All characters belong to Dick Wolf and the story is entirely fictional, not based on any real event.**

**The beginning is purely conversation, I thought this might add to the effect of not knowing what has happened yet. Let me know what you thought.**

**Can you hear me now?**

**Mercy General Hospital**

**1****st**** November 2007**

**6.00am**

"Hey Captain" Munch said as he felt the familiar presence of his boss behind him. Cragen paused when he reaches Munch's side. 

"How is she?" He asked staring blankly through the window into the dimly lit hospital room.

"I don't know who that women is in there but it's not Olivia Benson anymore" Munch sighed. He almost felt angry that the Olivia Benson he knew, the fighter Olivia, wasn't fighting now.

"Has she said anything?" Cragen said not once looking at Munch. Munch shook his head silently.

"Not a word, it's almost as if she's so distressed she doesn't know how to speak" Munch replied quietly.

"Have you spoken to Huang?" Cragen asked, wishing he'd been there earlier to handle the responsibilty and not just have left it to Munch, seeing as Elliot was far too distressed to put two words together.

"He tried to talk to her, even he couldn't get through to her. He said that she has severe PTSD. He also said in some cases the victims don't talk for years after their experience" Munch explained. He saw that Cragen had yet to look him in the eye and wondered how much of what he was saying was being taken in by his Captain. 

"We have no idea what went on in that room, she can't tell us" Munch finished.

"What about Sarah?" Cragen asked, turning to Munch for the first time since he had arrived.

"She died earlier this morning" Munch looked away, he couldn't bear to be the barer of any more bad news

"Jesus Christ, has anyone told Liv?" Cragen gasped, at the extent of the situation, he felt sick to the pit of his stomach knowing that no one could help the young women he saw as his daughter.

"No, we're not even sure she can hear us she hasn't moved an inch she she was brought in" Munch said pacing over to a near by water cooler opposite where they were standing.

"The doctors said there wasn't a scratch on her" Cragen asked. Munch's nod assured him.

"I know, the only injuries she has are the bruises on her hands and feet where she was tied to the chair. Her damage is psychological, not physical and I think that's worse. Physical wounds can heal. Psychological scars burn deep, they can never fade" Munch's voice seemed to get quieter and quieter with every word.

"Why did O'Reiley do this? Why just take her there to watch?" Cragen asked venomously to no one in particular.

"He knew aswell as us how damaging it would be, this wasn't about Sarah at all, it was all revenge for Olivia" Munch suggested even though the thought itself sounded horrible.

"Have you seen the Sarah's M.E Report? I haven't had a chance to look at it yet" Cragen asked. Munch was hoping he wouldn't ask, but he couldn't lie.

"4 molars were extracted, with the roots still intact. 7 puncture needle marks in her gums, she was injected with the same subtance used in the beginning stage of the lethal injection. 3 of her fingers were severed off and her eyes had been burned with neat hydrochloric acid, need I go on?" Munch asked, a feeling of nusea rolling around his stomach.

"No, thanks. And to think that Olivia was present the whole time. Bound to a chair not being able to help her" Cragen winced at the scene where Munch, Fin, Elliot and himself had found her. He couldn't shake the image of Elliot screaming at the top of his lungs and grasping Olivia's bloodied shirt as she stared right through him as if no one was even there.

"Where's Elliot?" Cragen diverged back into reality.

"After I convinced him to leave her bedside and stretch his legs? He's gone to visit Sarah's family" Munch said looking around for signs of Elliot's return.

"I saw the flowers they sent Olivia, did you?" Cragen said pointing to a vase of beautiful orchids which had been placed at her bedside.

"Yes, they were beautiful" Munch replied

"This is so messed up, I've never seen Elliot look so broken" Cragen said almost in a whisper now.

"You know, I think if there really was a God up there he would have let Olivia die rather than let her live with what's happened" Munch's tone stiffened. He had never really believed in God and it was at times like this proved to him believing in God was useless.

"I'd love to disagree with you, Munch, but I think you're right" Cragen said before a thought suddenly struck him.

"Has anyone contacted her brother?" he said, 

"We tried but there was no answer, we'll try again in the morning"

Munch and Cragen stared through the glass window into the room where the emtpy shell of their friend lay, still. Her skin was grey and the rings under her eyes tainted her with a hint of death. Every few minutes she would blink and let fresh tears fall over the dry ones previously fallen. She stared blankly across the room at Munch and Crageb and looked right through them as if there was no one there. To her all she could see were the events of the last forty-eight hours.

The rushing sound of another being could be heard racing towards the two men waiting anxiously outside Olivia Benson's room. 

"Has she said anything? Anything at all?" Elliot Stabler said frantically catching his breath. Munch and Cragen shook their heads together.

"Not a word, I don't think she can, she's far to traumatised"

"Why aren't you in there with her?" Elliot said.

"It's not as easy as you think sitting at the bedside of someone you've known for like forever who is now nothing like you remember them" Munch said sadly. 

"Cowards" said Elliot rudely, 

"She'll be alright, you'll see, I'll help her through this, I'll be their for her all the way" He said again before gently pushing the door into her room open and stepping inside, leaving Munch and Cragen alone in the corridor. Fin came around the corner, much slower than Elliot had.

"Hey guys, seen Elliot? He took off after we finished talking to Hannah's family" Fin asked approching them with his arms folded. Like the rest of them, he looked as if he hadn't slept for days.

"Yeah, he's just gone back in with Olivia, how was Sarah's family?" Cragen said.

"They're devestated as you'd imagine. They're glad that Olivia is ok"

"She not, she's far from ok…they were found 36 hours ago and she has not said a word, not even muttered a sound"

"I heard about some people going completely mute after things like this" Fin noted

"I know, that's what George thinks is wrong, but it's impossible to predict when she'll snap out of it" Cragen sighed. 

"She might never" Munch added, Fin frowned.

"You guys can't think like that, she'll recover. That's Olivia Benson in there. She's a fighter" Fin said, hoping to raise the spirits but his attempts were futile.

"I'm afriad to think that our fighter Olivia Benson has lost any battle she was attempting to fight…have you heard from Casey?"

"Yeah, good news on that front, O'Reiley's been given immediate sentencing"

"And?"

"Death penalty"

"Good ridence"

"I'd rather he rotted in jail"

"At least Olivia will be ok knowing he's dead"

"Olivia is not ok and we all know that except Elliot thinks she's just gonna get up and walk away from all of this"

"If anyone will be able to help her, Elliot can, and I'm certain he will"

Elliot could feel the eyes of Cragen, Munch and Fin burning into him as they watched from the other side of the glass panel. He turned his back to them and took Olivia's icey grey hand.

"Olivia? It's Elliot can you hear me? Everything is going to be alright, I'm not leaving you, I'll help you through this"

Olivia remained silent, her eyes ached with desperation to shake the violent images from her head and her ears rang with the constant screaming and begs of mercy from Hannah as the pain was inflicted on her. 

Tears rolled from her face and Elliot raised his hand and wiped the tears away with his hands. Even her tears felt cold. She flinched when she felt him. She yerned for years to be touched by Elliot like that but him wiping away her tears like that now only reminded her of how O'Reiley did the same thing only O'Reiley had Sarah's blood all over his fingers.

Elliot sighed, he knew it was going to be the struggle of a life time, he'd lost count of the times they'd been at odds and he thought they'd never be close again. He was willing to give up everything just to see her smile. But he knew he had a lot of work to do first. He had to help her face her fears and overcome her anxiety. He knew she would fight him but he couldn't bear to see her in such turmoil. Olivia Benson was his life, and his life without her in it he couldn't even bear to think about. 

The silence had become so deafening Elliot himself thought he had gone deaf. But he heard a sound, not from his own lips. It was so quite he thought at first he was imagining it.

"She's dead isn't she?" he heard her whisper.

His eyes glistened with tears as he couldn't bear to be the one to break her further. He could tell that she probably knew full well Sarah's fate but just wanted to make things clear. 

And those were her only words for the next 2 weeks. 


	2. Sarah

**Thanks to those of you who reviewed!**

**Sorry it's taken me sooo long to update, school is taking it's toll on me and I seem to have driving lessons all over the place. So thanks for being patient.**

**Some of you might notice in the previous chapter I altered the speech at the start so now you know who is saying what!**

**Here's chapter two…on with the show!**

**Sarah**

**Two weeks earlier**

**28th**** October 2007**

"This seems to be the place" Olivia said peering through the shop window. Elliot nodded in agreement,

"The studio is on the 1st floor" Elliot said motioning with his hand for her to go inside. As they entered the shop they were both overwhelmed by the sheer size of it. It didn't look that big from the outside but it's interior seemed to stretch for miles. Hundreds of Violins, Violas and cellos hung securely from the wall protected in a lockable cabinet. Rows of Grand Pianos were lined down the back of the shop towards the workshop. In the existing space there was isles of music books all catalogued. To the left by the woodwind section was the til, and behind it stood a tall middle-aged man. The little hair he had on his head was grey and behind his glasses were sparkly blue eyes, He smiled at them when he noticed they were snooping around.

"Can I help you?" He asked getting their attention.

Olivia slapped Elliot's hand away from one of the violins on the shelf. 

"Elliot! You'll break something!"

"Yes, mom!" he said sarchastically, she laughed as she turned around to answer the man.

"ah yes, my names Detective Benson and this is my collegue Detective Stabler" She was about to continue but the man interupted her.

"Are you here about the break ins we've been having? Thank god they finally send someone!" he said sounding relieved. Elliot and Olivia looked at each other.

"break-in?" Elliot clarified

"Yes, 4 days ago someone broke in and stole just under $25,000 worth of stock-we're not a cheap shop, you know" the man said.

"Sorry whats your name?" Olivia asked

"Sorry, Peter Nuffield, I'm the owner" he replied 

"We were actually here for Sarah Fanning, we were wondering if we could talk to her about something"

"Oh, so your not here about the break ins then?" Peter said dissapointed.

"No, but it might be related" Elliot said, not wanting to dishearten Peter further.

"Why? Is Sarah in trouble-she's a wonderful girl, not been working for me long. She's the best jazz painist I've ever come across for her age…she's up in the studio with her band, I'll just go and get her"

"Have you noticed her acting strangely at all over the last few weeks?" Olivia asked.

"Nope, she's been fine. She's had a lot on her mind though, she's being doing gigs every night this week" Peter dissapeared upstairs. The two dectectives were left alone in the shop.

"Do you even think she's aware of the note we were sent?" Elliot whispered in a low voice.

"I have no idea, but something about this doesn't smell right" Olivia said. Suddenly a couple of young men came bounding down the stairs and out the shop door before Peter called down to them.

"You can come up here for some privacy if you like" he shouted. Olivia and Elliot went to the staircase and ascended up the the studio.

"If you need anything I'll be downtairs, ok?" Peter said before leaving them outside the door to the studio. He disspeared back downstairs to tend to a customer. 

Sarah, who was sitting at an enourmous grand piano, looked up and saw them, she waved them in. She didn't look more than 16 years old.

"Hey Sarah?" Olivia said. Sarah nodded and smiled.

"Yep, that's me? Do you want tickets for the gig tonight because if you do I'm afraid your too late, but I do have a couple of tickets left for Wednesday" She said scribbling onto some manuscript paper.

"Er, no, we just wanted to ask you a few questions" Elliot asked.

"Why? Who are you?" she said, her smile beginning to fade.

"NYPD Special Victims Unit" Olivia said as they both flashed their badges to her.

"I don't understand…aren't you the sex crimes guys or something?" she said, genuinly not knowing what was going on.

"We've been receiving anonomous calls about you to our office. It said we needed to look out for you" Olivia said. Sarah looked at them both blankly.

"It's probably just some prank, I honestly have no idea what your talking about. Are you sure it's me?" she asked.

"Yes, they sent us some lovely mug shots of you" Elliot said handing her A4 sized photographs of herself. Sarah is lost for words.

"Have you noticed anyone acting strange around you recently, following you, someone you haven't noticed before?" Olivia asked.

"I meet a lot of people, I've been all over Europe. People come here every night to listen to me play it could be anyone. I havent noticed anything. Am I in danger?" she said

"We're not sure, if it is a prank and you know whose behind it tell them to lay off, but if you honestly don't know who is doing this then we need to make sure you've got protection. This guy seems to think you're gonna get into trouble" Elliot said, taking the pictures back from Sarah.

"If someone was stalking me, why would they go to you, the people who would lock them away instead of prowling after me?" she asked. Unfortunatly, they couldn't give her an answer.

"We don't know…but if you hear of see anything out of the ordinary, call us straight away, you got it?" Elliot said, Sarah nodded.

"Good girl" He said patting her shoulder.

"You'll tell me if you hear anything?" she said shakily.

"Of course we will, honey" Olivia said. Sarah sat back down on her piano stool, as she did so, she suddenly had a jolt of rememberence. 

"Wait a minute" she said holting Elliot and Olivia at the door.

"It might be nothing but the other night after the gig, there was this guy, he stayed behind and helped me tidy up. He knew a lot about jazz and said he'd seen me before and that I was very good. I thought he was just being nice"

Olivia strode back over to her.

"What did this guy look like, honey?" she asked. Sarah shrugged.

"I dunno, dark brown hair, 6 feet tall, mid 30's maybe"

"Did he tell you his name?" Elliot asked, note book in hand.

"No, but if he comes back tonight I'll let you know"

"Can't you just squeeze us in tonight, for security?" Elliot smiled.

"Sure, it's on me" Sarah smiled

"and if anything happens between now and then, call us ok?" Olivia said.

"Yeah" Sarah said positioning her hands at the piano and begun to play _Take Five_. 

Olivia and Elliot left the shop after saying goodbye to Peter and headed down the sidewalk back to the precinct. 

"So we're dealing with a stalker?" Elliot said

"Who comes to us rather than stalk his own victim?" Olivia questioned.

"It's weird, why would he do that?" she finished.

"Maybe he's playing us rather than her. When we get back we'll try and get an idea of what the guy looks like from the description she gave us so we can check him out if he comes back tonight"

"Yeah, he probably knows we're gonna be there because he made contact with us. He knows we'll be looking for him" Olivia sighed in confusion

"A perp who _wants_ to get caught, that's new" Elliot snorted

"Maybe it's a trap!" Olivia said. Elliot laughed.

"Don't be silly, all the guys who'd want to hurt us we've put away, don't be paranoid Liv"

"I'm not being silly, El. I'm serious. What if it's us he really wants and she's just the bait, she's a 16 year old girl; The most common criteria for our unit"

Elliot stopped, sensing he'd probably hurt her feelings.

"Liv I'm sorry, it's not silly-I just think we have to get our fact's straight about the girl first"

"Oh don't apologise to me-all my ideas are just stupid!" she spat and stormed inside.

**1-6 Precinct SVU Squad Room**

Olivia had practically ignored Elliot for the rest of the afternoon. Elliot had made his apology but she didn't buy so he wasn't going to budge any more than she was. 

About 6 hours later, they had conjured up some ID's ready to take to their undercover stint at Sarah's gig later that evening. A delivery boy came into the precinct with a box.

"Detective Olivia Benson?" He called, Olivia looked up.

"Yeah, that's me" she said.

"Package for you ma'am, if you'd like to sign here" she did so and Elliot frowned.

The delivery boy took off and and Olivia sat back down to open it. She gasped in horror at it's contents.

"What is it?" Elliot said, getting up out of his chair when he sensed her distress. She lifted out a bloodied piano string with a lock of long brown hair-like Sarah's tied around it. In the bottom of the box there was a little card with the words:

lEt ThE gAmEs BeGin.

Olivia was out of the door after the delivery boy before anyone could do anything. She ignored Elliot's shouts of protests and ran outside. The street was busy and noisey but that suddenly changed when everything dissolved into black.

TBC…


	3. Missing

**Hi guys! Thanks for the review-glad you like it.**

**To clear somethings up: the girl's name **_**is **_**Sarah, **_**not**_** Hannah, it was but I decided to change it. So that's the story behind that.**

**28****TH**** October 2007**

**7:05pm, SVU Squad Room**

It had been hours more since their bust up and Elliot was beginning to get concerned. Usually, on occasions like this, Olivia would just casually stroll back in and ignore him until the air was so thick Cragen sent them home to sort their problems out.

"Is Liv still not back yet?" Cragen asked, poking his head around his office door. Elliot shook his head.

"No-I don't know where she is, I tried her cell phone and her home phone and she didn't answer" Elliot said sorrowfully. Cragen raised his eyebrows.

"Well, if you two have had a barmy then it's no surprise she's not answering _your _calls…I'll give her a call, ok?" Cragen said swinging his head back into his office.

Elliot sat alone in silence focusing on the package that had been delivered to Olivia earlier that day. The DNA was a match to Sarah and the piano string was identical to one missing from one of the piano's in Peter Nuffield's shop. After a few minutes, Cragen reappeared from his office.

"No luck I'm afraid, doesn't want to speak to anyone I'm afraid…are Sarah's parents on their way?" Cragen asked

"Yes, I called them a few minutes ago after we got confirmation that the blood and hair was Sarah's"

There was a dingey silence that hung in the air for a few moments before suddenly both men had a sickening realisation. They looked at each other with horror.

"You don't think that he's taken Liv, do you?" Elliot stammered. The colour drained from his Captain's face. 

"I'll put out an alert, you get you ass in gear and find them both" Cragen snapped before reaching to the nearest phone in desperation. Elliot couldn't help but feel that this was all his fault.

**29****th**** October 2007**

**12:07am**

Olivia slowly came round and panicked when she realised she couldn't move. She frantically tried to remember what had happened and was confused as to why her eyes were open and yet she could not see a thing-she was blindfolded. She was strapped tighly to a chair and her hands were tied to the arms of the chair and her feet bound to the legs of the chair. She squirmed anyway in an attempt to get loose, grunted as pain drilled into her skull.

"Detective Benson" she heard the shrill voice coming from some direction which she could not pinpoint. 

"Olivia Benson, the heronine of the hour" the voice was getting colder and closer with every word.

"Who are you? Take this blind fold off" she said half a sobbing at the realisation that she was in BIG trouble.

"If you were as good a detective as you think you are, you wouldn't be asking that question"

"Take the blind fold off me" she growled.

"Are you sure? We've got company and she's hate to see you get upset" the voice said coyly. Olivia heard another hysterical voice coming from the other side of the room.

"Sarah? Sarah is that you?" Olivia croaked. Sarah let out a hysterical sob.

"Oh, now look what you've done" the man groaned.

"Sarah, are you ok? Has he hurt you?" Olivia asked trying to remain professional. The man got close to her face and spat.

"Don't talk to her, don't say a word, or she's dead" he peeled the blindfold away from Olivia's face. She winced at the coldness of his fingers and the bitter smell of blood on his fingers.

"Ta da!" he laughed, smiling sickly. Olivia squinted as the light adjusted to her eyes.

"Tobias O'Reiley!" she sobbed to herself…_the one who got away._

**SVU Squad Room **

"Tobias O'Reiley!" Elliot roared

"The bastard who got away!" Fin hissed. Cragen rubbed his eyes, they'd worked long into the early hours of the morning. They'd fianally identified the perp and knew to their horror what he was capable of. He'd gotten away with murder before but not this time.

"Get a record of a loction, anywhere where he last used credit cards or anything, we havent got much time"

"Why are you doing this!" Olivia screamed at Tobias as he prepared his injection needles on a tray beside Sarah's chair.

"I'm sorry Olivia, I didn't do anything I swear" She screamed as she thrashed in her chair.

"The least you can do is give me an explanation!" she spat at Tobias who had his back to her. He slowly pivoted around to face her, revealing a large syringe with a needle poised at the top.

"So, your saying, you don't even remember?" He ran to her quickly the needle pressed to her skin, Sarah screamed desperatly. Tobias took a step back away from Olivia's chair.

"You ruined me, you took away my job, my wife…you took away my life" Tobias said.

"No Tobias, you did that when you raped and murdered 4 women!" Olivia lost her temper. Suprisingly, he turned to Sarah instead of Olivia. Sarah screamed and screamed so loud and so helpless that Olivia threw up just at the sound of the desperate young girl infront of her whom she could do nothing to help. 

"Open wide, Sarah, come on, open up" Sarah tried to keep her mouth clamped shut but Tobias grabbed her jaw and prized it open. She moaned at the impact as he inserted the needle harshly into her gum. Sarah screamed as if her life depended on it and breathed deeply and quickly, blood spilled out of her mouth onto her pain white t-shirt and indigo skinny jeans. Olivia screwed her eyes shut but nothing could destract her from what was happening to that poor child. Nusea swirled in her stomach at the thought of what was to come and when it was her turn.

_Where the hell are you Elliot? _She cursed him under her breath but longed to see his face all the same.

"Stop, please, leave her out of this, she has nothing to do with this"

"All the more reason, can you imagine it now, Olivia? NYPD's finest detective, resposible for an innocent child's death? Would you ever be able to forgive yourself?"

"No I wouldn't so do it to me instead and let her go!" 

"No, physical torture is fun-but psychological torture I find is much more effective. Have you ever walked onto a crime scene and wondered 'what happened her?' this is purley a snippet of the exitment we had when I did all those other girls"

"They're gonna catch you, Tobias, and you know it, you lead us to you…so why did you do it?"

"Because?" Tobias removed the syringe from Sarah's mouth, she had paled severly and had blood all over her face. He dabbed her face with a cloth but she continued to dribble blood-she had given up fighting. All the screaming before hand had tiered her out.

"Yes? Why?" she cried mercifully.

"Because I wanted to see Olivia Benson suffer"

"Why don't you just kill me, if you hate me so much?"

"Because then you'd be free, Poor Sarah would be out of your mind forever, I don't want you to ever forget her"

"You just wait, They'll be looking for us right now!"

"fine, but in the meantime we'll have to find something to do to kill the time, pardon the pun of course…open wide Sarah, should have numbed up by now"

"Screw you!" she said effortlessley coughing on her own blood.

"My pleasure! Do you know why Olivia Benson over there tried to lock me up?"

He forced open her mouth and took plyers to her teeth, she moaned. Tears spilled down over Olivia's eyes as she met the horric sounds once more.

**SVU Squad Room**

"Where could they be? They've disspeared without trace, all of O'Reiley's cards were cancelled weeks ago and there was nothing in his apartment" Elliot said desperatly as he threw down a case file. His heart racing as the time was running out.

"There's only one thing we can do, and that is just to search the city"

"Your joking aren't you! Tell me your joking! That will take days! A city this size. Olivia and Sarah don't have any time for all we know they could be dead already!" He cried breaking down.

"I can't let the last stupid conversation I had with her yesterday be the last conversation I ever had with her" Elliot slumped to the floor and rested is head on his knees which had been drawn up to his chest. Cragen looked down at him sympathetically.

"We all want them back safe and sound, but we're out of options Elliot and you can either help us or not. The bottom line is Olivia needs you, she needs all of us but she especially needs her partner" he said wisely. Elliot looked up at him, his tear stained face shining with fresh tears that kept spilling.

"and I need her"

Sarah was now slipping in and out of conciousness, 4 of her molars had been placed neatly in a row in a dish beside her chair. Her t-shirt was now more red than white. Tobias tugged at it.

"That's gonna be a tough stain isn't it my love?" he said, his voice like poison.

"She is not your love! Don't touch her" Olivia gasped, her chest extremely tight with distress.

"What are you gonna do Olivia? Doesn't look as if your partner in crime, Elliot is gonna save you"

"She needs urgent medical attention!"

"You honestly think I'm just gonna let you go? How stupid are you Olivia? I've come to far to let you two go just because you begged me. It's not gonna work. You should have though about this before you ruined my life"

"Ruined your life? You took the lives of 4 innocent women, don't take Sarah's life too"

"No on asked for your opinion, your worthless stupid opinion what was it I heard yesterday, your silly ideas. Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks you're a silly young woman, the product of rape, how does that feel? How does Elliot feel?" 

"Leave Elliot out of this" She said through gritted teeth. Sarah coughed again and heaved as she spat out more blood.

"Ooh, are we leaving you out Sarah? Thought you would have had enough by now!" He approached Sarah again, she turned her face away from him.

"It's my turn!" Olivia screamed, desperate to spare Sarah from anymore torture.

" No, no no, Olivia, just sit back and watch, I want to see how long it will be before you go insane and ask for a pistol to shoot yourself with…now, now Sarah, where were we?" He said taking her limp arm in his, he ran his bloodied fingers down her thin arm as he followed the veins before reaching for a silvery blade.

"See what you've done Olivia" He cooed, "See what you've done to this poor little girl" he said drawing a thin trail of blood.


	4. Torture

**Thanks for the reviews! Obviously I'm no expert when it comes to accuracy concerning the lethal injection stuff and I apologise if anyone found the content disturbing but if you did find chapter three upsetting, then I'd strongly suggest you continure reading with caution.**

**Yes, I'm no freak…I've just been been watching SVU for tooooo long! **

**30****th**** October 2007**

The early hours of the new dawn were peering down through the tiny barred window of the chamber. Olivia squinted as the light stung her eyes. Sarah had long passed out after a combination of whatever she had been injected with and blood loss. Tobias was silently cleaning the blade his had used to pierce Sarah's pale skin. The silence was becoming unbearable, even though it was deadly quiet, the shrill of Sarah's ear-piercing shrieks continued to echo in Olivia's now empty mind. 

She'd often wondered what it would be like to die and always pushed it to the back of her mind. Now the thought wouldn't leave her subconscious and combined with the screaming in her head she was fearing that Tobias was achieving is objectives-she was, very slowly, going mad. 

She closed her eyes and tried to think of a somewhere where human beings had no desire to harm each other and lived together in a world where her job was not necessary. Unfortunatly, she knew where the only place that would be was and she wasn't quite ready to say goodbye to the ones loved just yet.

Cragen. Over the years he'd merely been an observer of her life and yet he'd been there to support her through it all. He was like the father she never had and knew that him of all people would not give up on her. He did all the things that a father should do; praise her and punish her when need be. It was all she'd ever wanted, to have a father who loved her.

Munch. He always had a habit for saying the wrong thing but she knew he couldn't always help it. He was good at his job and good at listening to her when she needed to talk. He knew things hadn't been easy for her, and wasn't prepared to judge any of her actions without unnecessay cause. She smiled lightly to herself in rememberance knowing she could always count on Munch even his is coffee was the worst in New York.

Fin. The next best thing big brother she could have asked for. He stood up for her most of the time and she credited him for taking his own stand for what he believed in. She wished that she was as strong. She wondered that maybe, a long time ago, she was strong enough to get through everday feeling like she could return to the unit the next morning. 

At this very minute, she didn't think she would ever be able to step foot in the squad room again. How could she help the victims now she was a victim herself. She wasn't a victim was she? That was one of her fears, becoming like the broken people she met everyday. She told herself night after night she would never be a victim, yet here she was…bound to a chair, her mind tortured whilst watching a young girl bleed to death infront of her. What would Elliot do? She wondered. Elliot, Elliot, Elliot.

Elliot. His namehad never left her mind for an instant and wondered what this situation was going to leave they're relationship in? It was already in tatters and this had only re-shredded it. She thought for a moment. Does he really care at all? Of course he does. Over the years they'd build up a friendship like none she'd ever known. He truly knew her better than anyone else. He knew her every move and comforted her when she needed comfort. He'd been her rock and she was his. They'd been through hell and back the two of them and still made it out alive, both each other's corner stone. Like a stone, she felt herself falling, falling, falling, faster and faster in love with her partner, her best friend, her life. She wondered what he'd do without her. She knew he'd be ok, he had Kathy, and his children, what else could he possibly need?

When Olivia slowly returned back to reality she noticed that Tobias had gone. She didn't know how long he'd been gone for and wondered if he would return. She turned her head as far as it would go for signs of his presence. The only sound was that of Sarah's ragged breathing. Olivia whispered out to her.

"Sarah? Sarah can you hear me?" she asked terrified that Tobias might return at any given moment. Sarah did not respond but Olivia noticed she was starting to come around. Olivia thanked God that whatever Tobias had injected her with was starting to wear off.

"Sarah, honey, stay awake, they'll be here, help will be here I promise" she said tears rolling down her face at the horrific state of the child before her. Yes, the girl was 16-practically a young lady but the soul of a child none the less. Sarah hung her head forward and tried to lift the weight up, as she did so her head flopped violently backwards resting on the back of the chair.

"Elliot?" Sarah staggered, barely able to string a few words together.

"Yes, he's coming"

"You promise?"

"Yes, Sarah, you just stay awake for me honey, alright"

"It hurts so much" Sarah groaned right from the pit of her stomach in agony as she became more aware of what was going on.

"Olivia help me please, please help me it hurts soo much, please, please!" Sarah wailed desperatly, practially begging. The tears rolled down Olivia's face knowing she could do nothing.

"I can't, I'm sorry, I'm stuck"

"The pain is so bad, make it stop"

"Mae it stop? But we're not finished!" Tobias' voice rang out in the room again as he re-entered with a bottle of water. He unscrewed the cap and poured some onto Sarah's bloodied face, she spat as the water ran down her face and moistned the blood that had dried there. She spat at it's taste, it wasn't water at all. As if Olivia thought she couldn't gasp in horror any more she gasped in realisation at what it might be as she watched Sarah squirm in pain. Acid. 

Sarah's eye's burned with blinding pain.

"Stop, stop it I can't see, I can't see!" She shrieked. If Olivia had the ability to, she would have clamped her hands over her ears.

888

Elliot had sat alone in the cribs for hours, he'd lost track of how long he'd been there. The rest of the team had started their search nearly 6 hours ago and were keeping him thouroughly informed. The tears had dried on his face as he now sat in silence thinking of what horrors Olivia could be facing. He hadn't been home to his family since Olivia first dissappeared and that was over 48 hours ago. He was sure they'd know what was going on by now, it was all over the news but right now, he couldn't bear to face anyone with the guilt he felt. He picked himself up off the thin matress and ran out of the precinct. This had to stop, he had to find her and Sarah before it was too late. He knew that his feelings for Olivia were beyond control and whatever happened when she was found, either way if Olivia was dead of alive, his marriage would probably be over…again.

He raced out into the night.

888

Olivia threw up again as she heard the bones crack underneath the pressure Tobias was inflicting on Sarah. It will all be over soon, she told herself repeatedly. Olivia was surprised that Sarah hadn't suffocated herself with all her screaming. The hurrendous sound was continuing endlessly before Tobias' fist met with her jaw. 

Olivia had never really been a religious person but now she prayed with all her might that someone might hear the screaming and end this once and for all.

_Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear me?_ She prayed to anyone who could hear.

_Elliot, I need you, I need you._


	5. Sleep

**Thanks you guys for all your great reviews! You make me a happy person!**

**Disclaimer: No one belongs to me (apart from the baddie Tobias O'Reiley) Bow down before Dick Wolf for his is wonderfull.**

**This chapter is from a different prospective that hasn't been covered yet.**

**30****th**** October 2007**

**5:27pm**

She had lived a good life, she thought; she couldn't complain. She was one of the lucky ones. Her career aspired before her and she was quite happy to play the piano everyday for the rest of her life. To Sarah, it had felt like a lifetime since she had played a note but remembered when it all went wrong as if it was yesterday. She had lost all track of time but supposed it didn't matter for much longer. She remembered the sheer panic as the paino string cut instantly into her neck as her kidnapper struck her from behind as she played her Miles Davis repetoire for the concert that evening. She knew the detectives were coming and wanting nothing to go wrong. 

She tried to imagine she was playing Miles Davis while she was in the chair, her eyes shut so she didn't have to look at the devestation on Olivia's face. She no longer had any sensation in her hands or her feet, her hands numb from where a few of her precious fingers had been severed off. She couldn't tell how many, she didn't want to look. All she knew was that the pain was unbearable. The whole of her jaw felt swallen and her head felt heavy. She wanted to give up, the fluid injected in her system wanted her to give her but she had been promised by Olivia that she would be alright. She wanted to make sure Olivia would be ok. She didn't want Olivia to be hurt.

Sarah didn't understand why it had been her that had been O'Reiley's device to gain revenge on Olivia but quite frankly, it didn't matter now, what ever the reason was she was glad it was her and not someone else.

She tried to remember what the last conversation she had with her parents was but as her brain was slowly shutting down, so were her memories. She could hear Olivia's distorted voice and consciously tried to grab hold of it with every ounce of energy she had.

She didn't doubt Olivia's promise that Elliot would save them. Even through her deliousness, she saw in Olivia's eyes the trust that she had for Elliot and she had a distinct feeling that it was more than just trust. 

888

Rain was pelting down heavily now across New York as the night had settled in. The thunder roared and lightning relatiated as hundreds of officers including Cragen, Munch, Fin and Elliot scounted across the city for Olivia and Sarah.

"Any luck?" Elliot called out to Cragen over the raging of the storm.

"No…the storm is getting worse and worse by the hour" Cragen replied barely audible over the noise.

"We can't stop now, there's only a few places they could be now…we've just got to find them"

"Did you go home and get any rest?" Cragen asked, knowing full well that Elliot wouldn't have. Elliot shook his head.

"I'm not stopping until we find them…alive" Elliot said desperatly.

"Elliot, it's been over 48 hours since Olivia dissapeared, even longer for Sarah. We know what this guy is capable of. I think we should prepare ourselves for the worst" Cragen said sadly. Elliot stared at him.

"How can you say that? Olivia's one of the strongest women I know, she needs to live…" Elliot said, Cragen lost his temper.

"No, Elliot, you need her to live so you can apologise for all the crap you put her through" Expecting Elliot to argue, Cragen was surprised when Elliot nodded his head in agreement.

"Yes, I know. I'd give anything to take that back. She can't die thinking that I hate her because I don't, I really don't. I love her more than anything!" Elliot said not caring for the fact of what he had just admitted to his boss and the implications it would have on his marriage and his partnership with Olivia. Cragen was prepared to let it go this time. He knew tensions and emotions were running high and things could be said in the heat of the moment that were not really meant. Cragen did not know though that Elliot had never been more completley honest with him in his entire working life with him.

**5:42pm**

For the past couple of hours, Olivia had watched Tobias drink himself unconscious in the corner and prayed that he would be out of it for atleast another couple of hours. This was after he'd smothered her shirt with Sarah's blood repeatedly telling her over and over again that this was all her fault. She knew that by now and didn't need reminding as she sat and watched Sarah wimper on the opposite side of the room in pain and exhuastion. The air smelled bitter and irony with blood and now remenants of whisky began to fill the thick air of the room as well. 

Olivia's chest felt tight and she was finding it difficult to breath. He'd barely laid a finger on her so she knew that it was only her body's response to what had happened, she felt her body going into to shock and cried harder and harder for help. Not help for her but rather for Sarah who was barely hanging on by the threads of Olivia's promise.

By now, Sarah had slipped into a deep state of unconsciousness and Olivia watched the blood drip slowly from her mouth and hands onto the floor. Her face was slightly scornched by the acid and her eyes were blood shot. She tried to focus on the future and wondered what it had installed from her. She imagined scenes of their disovery and Elliot bursting in and taking her in his arms and…

She too finally fell into the deepest of all sleeps.

**5:57pm**

Munch ran into the tent that was sheltering everyone from the storm. He was dripping with rain as Cragen and Elliot stood up to greet him, themselves soaked to the bone.

"Guys, come quick, some women reported screaming and shouting coming from an old basment in the Manhatten area, we've got a location. It's an abandoned warehouse, three miles north west of Manhatten. We've got a bus on it's way over as we speak" Munch finished as Cragen and Elliot raced out of the tent back out into the rain without a single word. Munch ran off after them.

They sped off in the cars, lights blaring as the rain smashed against the windscreen. The wipers battled with the hailstones that complimented the storm.

"It's gonna be ok, Elliot, Everything's gonna be alright now" Cragen said trying hard to focus on the road.

"Hold on Liv, we're coming"

**5:59pm**

Olivia and Sarah were still unconscious when Tobias came to. He got up and prepared his final piece. He doused the area with gasoline, throwing it onto the floor around them as he headed for the exit. He panicked when he heard sirens blaring from all directions. He struggled for the matches to end it once and for all…

**6:00pm**

"Stop right there, O'Reiley" Cragen yelled as half of the New York Police department burst through the door.

"It's over O'Reiley!" Cragen yelled again.

"Damn right it is!" Tobias shouted as he went to strike a match. In mid strike, gun fire rang out and he collapsed to the floor, in pain. The S.W.A.T officers ran over to him and cuffed him, pulling the stun dart out of his neck. 

"Perpetrator down" Yelled one of the officers. Elliot ran into the basement as Cragen looked at him.

"O'Reiley's down" Cragen shouted as Munch and Fin also entered the basement. 

Time seemed to slow when Elliot cast his eyes on Sarah, she was a mess, blood was everywhere and Olivia's back was facing him. In horror he raced over to see what O'Reiley had done to her. He gasped in a mixture of shock and relief. She was as pale as an angel and her shirt was drenched in blood but she was no where near the state Sarah was in. Elliot drew out his pen knife and cut the ties that bound Olivia to the chair. He took her in his arms and shook her, she stirred and looked up at his face. Her stare froze his heart.

She stared right through him as if he wasn't even there. She looked so fragile and broken he thought he might brake her in his strong arms.

"Olivia? Olivia, Honey can you hear me?" He sobbed, clutching her to his chest. She was alive and conscious yet she did not respond to the strong protective arms around her. 

"Olivia say something please" He wailed, she said nothing. It was like she was merely a ghost.

Cragen ran over to Sarah and cut her free. 

"Jesus Christ! I need a paramedic here right now! Oh my god" Cragen stuttered. Never in his entire career in the police force had he ever seen such brutality. 

"Sarah? Sweetheart? Open you eyes for me honey? Help is here now" He checked for a pulse and struggled to find it. The paramedic took over.

"She's in shock, she's lost a lot of blood" the paramedic said as he lifted her out of the chair onto a gurney. As he did so she promtly vomitted. Cragen's attention was caught by the tray beside the chair, there he saw the teeth and the fingers. He looked at Elliot cradeling Olivia. His breath caught in his throat when he saw Olivia's expression.

"Holy mother of god, what the hell happened here?" he said to himself as he watched Olivia and Sarah being escourted out of the basement and transported to the nearest hospital. He watched Elliot jump into the back of the ambulance before it sped off into the storm. Fin and Munch approached Cragen.

"Is Liv ok?" Munch asked.

"I don't know, I've never seen her face look so empty" Cragen replied simply looking in the direction that the ambulance had just gone in. He turned to look at the two chairs where the hostages had been.

"We need to get forensics in here A.S.A.P and Fin, can you call Sarah's parents. Tell them that she's been taken to Mercy General Hospital"

"Sure thing boss" Said Fin and he left the basement.

888

The light blinded her and the motion of the ambulance mad her feel dizzy, she suddenly realised what had happened and wanted to get up but couldn't seem to be able to. He felt a hand gripping hers. It was big and rough…it was Elliot, she could hear his frantic voice trying to sooth her. She tried to cry out his name in fear and confusion but she counldn't, the sound just couldn't come out yet she could hear him calling:

"Can you hear me Olivia? Don't leave us"

She wanted it to be quite and she coulnd't quite keep her eyes open and her ears alert enough to hear him say.

"I love you"

But she could not hear him now.

TBC…


	6. Broken

Thanks for the awsome reviews guys

**Thanks for the awsome reviews guys! And for that, I reward you with a new chapter. Much lighter than previous chapters I'm sure you'll be pleased it hear.**

**Olivia's road to recovery.**

**Broken**

**Mercy General Hospital**

**30****th**** October 2007**

**7:08pm**

Elliot and the rest of the team had been confined to the four walls of the waiting room in the ER and had been ushered there as soon as Sarah and Olivia were brought in. Elliot had calmed down a lot since they had first been found now that he knew they were both alive. 

The room was silent as everyone held vigil to both Olivia and Sarah. Their silence was distorted when Sarah's parents arrived.

"Where's my baby! Someone tell me where Sarah is!" Mrs Fanning said frantically in the arms of her husband. Cragen stood up and went to calm the pair. 

"Everything is going to be fine, your daughter was brought in a few minutes ago, the doctors have stablised her and are working on her now, the worst part is over" Cragen said professionally. He loved it when he was able to give good news to worried parents for once.

"Thank you, thank you so much for all that you've done for us and Sarah" Mr Fanning said greatfully through tears, shaking Cragen's hand vigerously. Cragen patted him on the shoulder. 

"Your welcome, we're all very glad that we got there in time" he said smiling, knowing that although they'd been found they were not necessarily out of the woods yet.

"Can we see her yet?" Her mother asked shakily. Cragen only just recognised the look in her eyes that he didn't get to see very often in this job. Cragen shook his head. 

"No, I'm afriad, no one is allowed in. But I'm sure the doctors will get you as soon as they're ready" He was about to turn and leave when Sarah's father called out to him, concern still laced in his voice.

"What about Detective Benson? She's gonna be alright too isn't she?" He asked. Cragen for the first time couldn't tell him, remembering the look on her face he knew she was anything but ok. He smiled weakly.

"We're not sure yet" he replied.

"We'll keep her in our prayers too!" He said hopefully. Cragen smiled again in thanks.

"Thank you…can I get you a cup of coffee?" he asked. Mr Fanning looked at his wife then back at Cragen, nodding.

"That would be nice" he replied before he and his wife followed Cragen into the waiting room where the others were.

It was at least an hour before anyone came to seem them. They all stood up when the doctor came in.

"Are you the relatives of Olivia Benson and Sarah Fanning?" The doctor asked. Everyone in the room chorused with a 'yes'.

"How is Olivia? Is she going to be ok?" Elliot said before anyone else. The doctor's face was hard to read and everyone waited with baited breath.

"Yes and no" he said. Elliot frowned.

"What's that suppost to mean?" he asked, impatiently. All he wanted to do was go and see her.

"Physically she's fine, only mild abraisions on her wrists and feet; S.A.E **(a/n Sexual Assult examination)** kit was negative. We think she might have a concussion but we can't be sure of it's effects because she won't answer any of our questions"

"So she's awake?" Cragen asked hopefully. The doctor nodded but his concern was still great.

"Yes, but she's not talking to any of out staff so we can't tell if she's in pain anywhere else…I'll get a nurse to fetch one of you only to see if you can talk to her but I'd say the prognosis for Detective Benson mentally, is not good"

"I'll call Huang" Cragen said instinctivly. Elliot shook his head.

"Why can't I see her?" he argued.

"You weren't exactly on speaking terms before all of this, we don't want her getting any worse until she's seen Huang"

Elliot was furious, he desperatly wanted to see his partner and Cragen wouldn't let him. However, there was a feeling in the back of his mind that he was scared of seeing her now. He could only imagine the state of her after what the doctor had said and he too could remember clearly the look on her face when they were found. 

"I should call Simon" Elliot said, excusing himself from the room. He needed some air anyway. The doctor let him aside. The doctor turned to Sarah's parents.

"As for young Sarah, her inuries were very severe, fortunatly her S.A.E kit was negative too" he said taking a breath.

The couple sighed with relief.

"But she is still unconscious, we have managed to stablise her for now but it was very touch and go. We've got her on a breathing machine and we've run tests to see if any of her organs have been affected by the subtance she was injected with, we've also sent of a tox screen to identify that subtance. The results should be sent up to I.C.U in a few hours"

"The I.C.U" Mrs Fanning said close to tears.

The doctor nodded.

"Yes, we'll be sending her up there in a few minutes but your more than welcome to go and sit with her now, there's a nurse outside waiting for you and she'll show you where to go"

They mumbled their thanks and left the waiting room.

"You do realise that your collegue will probably be mentally scared for life from this?" he said. It was a harsh reality but they had to face it.

"We'll order a pysch consult for you…" the doctor said trying to help but Cragen interupted.

"No, that won't be necessary, we'll have someone from out unit do the assessment, she knows him well" Cragen said sturnly.

"Where will she go now?" Munch said from behind Cragen.

"Well, we'll keep in her over night and assess her again in the morning, we'll let you know what ward" the doctor said going to leave.

"Can we sit with her now?" Fin asked.

The doctor felt for these men. He knew they only had her best interests at heart and knew how long they had been waiting. He gave them a small smile.

"I'll see what I can do"

**Mercy General Hospital**

**Ward 3, room 213**

**31****st**** October 2007**

**3:34am**

Huang left the room. Cragen had been waiting outside. 

"So?" He asked. Huang shook his head and sat down beside him.

"I don't know, she's most definitly got severe PTSD. She didn't say a word to me, she didn't even move" Huang said, even he was pale.

"I know, she's been like that ever since she came in" Cragen said standing up and peering into the hospital window.

"Do you know what happened to her?" Huang asked. Cragen shook his head.

"No, she hasn't said a word to anyone not even Elliot" Cragen said.

"Where is he?" Huang said noticing Elliot's absence.

"Gone to call Kathy…for the first time in nearly 3 days" Cragen said not really bothered about Elliot at all.

"But he'll be back" Cragen assured Huang.

"He hasn't been home yet, I sent the others home a few hours ago. Casey said she'll stop by after court this afternoon"

"What about you? Have you had some sleep? Eaten?" Huang asked. Cragen said nothing.

"You have to eat, there's no use in you getting sick too" he said putting his hand on Cragen's shoulder in comfort.

Elliot came back around the corner looking flustered.

"I thought I told you to go home!" Cragen said seeing Elliot.

"I'm not going home when Kathy's in a flaming rage!" Elliot said resting his head against the glass window, looking into Olivia's room.

"Can you blame her?" Cragen said, Elliot ignored him as he went into the room and left Cragen and Huang alone in the corridor.

"They have the strongest connection I've ever seen" Huang said.

"I know, and I think it might be becoming a problem" Cragen said. He knew full well that despite Elliot's marriage, they were more than friends.

"What do you mean?" Huang asked.

"Do you think they're in love with each other?" Huang continued when Cragen didn't reply. 

"I don't know, they've been together as partners for so long…I just don't know. But it's the rules, If there is something going on…" Cragen trailed off watching Elliot take Olivia's hand in his watching his mouth move and wondered what Elliot was saying.

"It's no wonder they have a close relationship with all the things they've seen" Huang replied.

"Exactly!" Cragen said.

"Has her brother been informed?" Huang said. Cragen sighed.

"Elliot called his last night but there was no answer, we'll try again later"

"Well, I don't think he's going to be the one to break her out of this…she might not"

"What do you mean?" Cragen said.

"Well, with PTSD so bad it makes a person unable to speak? It's unlikely she'll ever return to the person she was before the abduction" Huang said calmly but Cragen refused to believe it.

"She's got all of us to help her, Huang, she's a good cop; you can't give up on her" he said. Huang shook his head.

"I'd never give up on her, no one will…if anyone can get through this she can…you should get some rest" he said before getting up and leaving Cragen alone in the corridor. He looked into Olivia's room again and saw that Elliot and Olivia had both fallen asleep.

**31****st**** October 2007**

**2:45pm**

"Guys! How is she?" Casey said as she rounded the corner. They all looked at her, tiered and exhausted. The unit had been closed to all cases so that they could all be there however Fin and Munch were in the cafeteria getting everyone a round of Coffee.

"She's ok, she's still not talking though" Cragen said.

"How's Elliot holding up?" she asked peering into the window looking at Elliot who had remained in the same chair.

"He hasn't left her side" Cragen replied.

"Don't think Kathy will be pleased" Casey said smiling.

"Oh, she's not, I've been on the phone four times with her since yesterday…I've tried everything, he won't go home"

"Is he in denile?" she asked. Cragen shrugged.

"Maybe. He was an ass to her before the abduction"

"Well, speaking of which, I just came from court. O'Reiley got immediate sentencing…death penalty" She said sounding relieved.

"Good" Cragen said harshly.

"How's the girl? Sarah isn't it?" Casey said.

"She's still in a coma" 

"You should have shot the bastard when you had the chance" she said bitterly.

"I know, I wish I had" Cragen said. Casey put her Hand on his shoulder. He marvelled at how many people had done this in the passing hours he had been here.

"There was nothing else you could have done…listen I've got to go, but I'll try and pop in later, ok? Give her my love?" She said before leaving.

"I don't even know if she can hear us but I'll pass on your message all the same" he said watching Elliot stir in his chair, he'd woken and was now staring at her contently, he was talking to her again but Cragen couldn't work out what he was saying. He watched Elliot brush some stray stands of hair out of Olivia's face, she didn't even flinch at his touch.

"What should I do about this?" Cragen wondered to himself.


	7. Vigil

HAPPY EASTER GUYS

**HAPPY EASTER GUYS! (We've got snow here in England!)**

**Justto clear up one thing; the S.E.A thing in the last chapter was actually meant to be S.A.E. I have changed it and added it's abriviation.**

**I know Cragen is cramping their style but he sees Liv as his duaghter…we all know that, don't worry and Simon Marsden WILL be making an appearance!**

**Enjoy the rest of your day and don't eat too much chocolate!**

**Vigil**

**Mercy General Hospital**

**31****st**** October 2007**

**8:00pm**

"Captain Cragen? Have you seen our dad?" Maureen asked surrounded by the other Stabler children. Little EJ was in a baby carrier on Kathleen's front. 

"Mom said he was here" Lizzie said.

Cragen looked up. He felt sorry for the children and knew that Elliot owed it to his children to speak to them for the first time in three days. He stood up.

"He's just with Olivia, I'll go and get him" He said. When the children heard Olivia's name they got exited.

"Olivia? Can we see her? Is she ok?" They chorused together. Cragen sighed.

"I'm sorry, I don't think that's a goo idea-Olivia's not up to talking to anyone right now but I'll tell her you were here" he said his heart falling as he saw the dissapointed faces of the children before him.

"We got her a card, but don't tell our mom we were here. She's not very happy about it. We told her we were going trick or treating with EJ" Dickie said handing Cragen the card. He took it from them and went to open the door into Olivia's room. It was dark in the room and only a small lamp lit the bedside cabinet of Olivia's room. Olivia was awake and so was Elliot, he was messaging her hand softly when Cragen whispered as not to startle Olivia.

"How is she?" he asked, Elliot whispered his response.

"The nurse had to put her on fluids, she won't eat anything" he said sorrowfully.

"Elliot, your children are here, they want to see you…they brought a card for Olivia" He said placing the pink envelope on the cabinet. Elliot looked up. He got up and followed Cragen out of the room.

"Dad! We've been worried sick! Are you alright?" Maureen said running over to him and emracing him in a hug. He hugged her back.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Olivia just needs lots of friendly faces around her at the moment, she's a bit upset" he said 

"Can we see her Dad please? I know she'll be happy to see us!" Dickie exclaimed. The children's omtimism broke Elliot's heart. Dickie and Lizzie pushed past him and quietly opened the door, they gasped in horror.

"Dad! She's gone!" Lizzie skrieked. Elliot was back in the room within a flash. There were drops of blood on the sheets where she had pulled her IV drip out. 

"Oh my god…Cragen call the nurse, how could we not have seen her?" he said in sheer panic. EJ was starting to cry when he saw his father in this distress and Kathleen bounced him in the baby carrier.

"It will be ok. We only left her for a second she can't have gotten very far" Maureen said trying to comfort her father. Never had she seen him in such distress. Cragen was running back with a nurse.

"We've got security looking for her, she'll be alright, Elliot" Cragen said.

888

Olivia felt like she was walking on air. She walked the halls of the hospital looking in every room. No one had told her about Sarah and she needed to know if she was ok. She wanted to ask for directions to the I.C.U but was too afriad. She didn't know why she was afriad or why she couldn't speak other than the fact that she just couldn't. 

The nurses in I.C.U had persuaded the Fanning's to go home and get some rest so Sarah was alone in the I.C.U. Olivia saw her through the glass and saw Sarah covered in tubes and machines. She gasped as she saw the thick interbation tube lodged down Sarah's throat and she watched her chest rise and fall systematically. 

She pushed the door open into the room and went over to the bed. She took Sarah's pale, right hand and shuddered at her stillness. Sarah's arms had been bandaged and she had gause stuck to her face over where she had been burned from the acid. Tears rolled down Olivia's face and she was startled when a nurse called to her from behind.

"You shouldn't be here, miss" She said taking Olivia's wrist and looking at her wrist band.

"They've been looking for you all over the place. You should be resting" The nurse went to get a wheel chair to wheel her back to her ward. As the nurse was doing so she planted a soft kiss on Sarah's forehead before letting the nurse wheel her away from Sarah. Not knwoing if she would ever be able to face the poor child ever again.

888

The Stabler children had stayed with their father and were overjoyed when the nurse told them that Olivia had been found wondering the halls of the I.C.U. They got the shock of their lives however when they saw her come round the corner in the wheel chair.

"Olivia! What the hell were you thinking!" Elliot shouted at her in a mixture of anger and relief. His abruptness caused her to sob.

"Elliot, calm down, she's very confused, she was probably looking for Sarah" Garen said seizing him by the arms. Elliot relaxing the tension in his arms.

"Liv, I'm sorry, honey, You just scared me that's all. Don't ever do that again!" he said taking her in his arms and rocking her gently. The Stabler children stared at this scene in awe and confusion. They all knew that their father was close to Olivia, they had all grown close to her over the years they had known her and their mother owed Olivia her life. 

They were all scared by Olivia's apearence. Her smile was gone, her beautiful skin complexion had faded and she looked genuinly empty.

"I think it's time to go" Maureen said to the children turning them away from the sight that had disturbed them all. As they began to walk down the hall Maureen came back and kissed the top of Olivia's head before following the rest.

"I'll walk you down to the lobby" Cragen said putting his arm around Maureen.

"She's not going to be alright, Captian, that's not Olivia, that's someone else" She said in pure shock.

"I know, that's why we didn't want you kids to see her right now" Cragen said.

"But she will get better, won't she?" Lizzie said anxiously. 

"We'll visit every day!" Dickie said.

"That's very kind of you, now, you get home before your mother suspects anything" he said ushering them out of the door.

"She already suspects something" Kathleen said.

"But we all really know who dad loves really" she finished quietly. Cragen had always found Kathleen a difficult girl to read.

"Does that bother you guys?" 

They didn't reply, the only reponse was EJ's baby gurgles.

"Well, EJ's always loved Olivia, we all will, nothing will change that…what happens will happen, not much is going to change that, is it?" Maureen said.

"Say good bye to Captain Cragen guys!" she said to her siblings. They all waved goodbye and left.

Cragen's cell started to ring. It was the Brass.

No matter how much he wanted to stay, the Brass were getting impatient. 

He went back up to the ward and explained to Elliot that the Brass were sending someone down to cover for Olivia until she was ready to return. Elliot didn't want to be partnered with anyine but his Liv and his heart broke at the thought of not being able to crime bust with her. 

Cragen said goodbye to Olivia and was surprised when she actaully turned and looked at him, he smiled proudly at her progress and left for the precinct while on the other hand, Elliot stayed with her for duration of the night.

He sat in the chair that had now moulded to his frame he'd sat in it for so long. He opened the card his children had brought and placed it next to the jug of water by her bed.

"The kids brought you a card" he told her looking at the sentiment inside, he smiled at EJ's contribution. He was surpised when she took it off him and looked at it for herself. 

"You can hear me can't you?" he asked. She looked at him with glassy eyes and said nothing. He was beginning to fear that he was forgetting what her voice sounded like.

"Please, talk to me, just say anything, tell me your ok" he said begging, she didn't respond this time which proved to him if everything else hadn't already that she was _not_ ok.

"Things will get better I promise…" he trailed off.

"Well, Lizzie got an A in her history test this week and EJ's got one of his immuniasation vaccines next week. I think he has a special bind with you, you know maybe it's because you were the first to hold him when he was born but he always recognises you in photos" 

She sat in the bed playing with her hands, Elliot wasn't really sure if she was taking any of this in but continued talking anyway.

"Munch and Fin bought a new expresso coffee machine so when you come back you won't have to put up with any more of Munch's coffee!" he laughed to himself. When he looked up next Olivia had fallen asleep.

"Come back to me, Olivia" 


	8. Limbo

Hey guys

**Hey guys! I won't be updating for the next couple of days because I'm going away with my orchestra so I'll have no access to a computer. Hope this ties you over.**

**Limbo**

**1****st ****November 2007**

Cragen had gone home and got a few hours sleep before returning back to the hospital in the early hours of the morning to see if Elliot had retreared home. He looked into the window and went inside the room. He tried to open the door quitely but the slightest sound startled Olivia. She sat bolt upright and looked around. When she saw it was Cragen she relaxed and fell back into the pillows. Elliot was out like a light in the chair beside the bed.

"Right where I left you" Cragen muttered to Elliot who snored softly. Olivia rested her hand on his.

"How are you doing this morning?" he asked her. She looked around at the clock and saw what time it was: 5.45am. She looked at him and shrugged.

"At least you're feeling a little better. How have you been sleeping?" He asked her. Please that she was responding to him. He just wished she could tell him in words. She nodded at his question. She looked at Elliot again.

"I know" he said replying to her actions as if they were having a subconscious conversation.

"He hasn't left your side, Olivia. Maybe you can try to convince him to go home and get some rest!" he said taking her flowers out of the vase and refilling it with fresh water from the sink. She had a fine forest of flowers beside her bed. A bouquet had been sent from the Fannings and there were several from Munch, Fin and Casey.

After Cragen returned from the sink he noticed that Olivia had a tight grip on Elliot's hand. He assumed that this meant she didn't want him to leave. He set the flowers back in the vase and the nurse popped her head around the door.

"Er, Captain Cragen, Good morning. Did you sleep well?" She asked. Over the last few days he had become familiar with all the nurses who came on shift.

"Yes, thank you" he said. The nurses face fell.

"Could I have a word with you outside?" she asked concerned. Cragen wondered what an earth it could be about. He shut the door behind him.

"What's the matter?" he asked, frowning.

"We had a call from I.C.U a few hours ago, Sarah Fanning went into septic shock in the early hours of this morning. She died at 2:04am. I thought you should know. I haven't told Olivia, I thought one of you might want to tell her. Her condition is improving and this news might well knock her back to square one. If there are any problems, come and get me" She said before returning to her nurses station round the corner.

He went back into the room and saw that Olivia had fallen asleep again. He went over to Elliot and nudged him.

"Elliot? Elliot? Wake up, we've got a problem" he said softly. Elliot squinted at him.

"Is Kathy here?" he asked. Cragen shook his head.

"It's Sarah, she didn't make it" Cragen said sadly. Elliot looked and him and then Olivia in horror.

"Oh my god! What's she gonna do when she finds out, she was getting better after she saw Sarah alive in the I.C.U!" he said getting up and pacing around the round running his hand through his hair.

"Why don't you go and see them? You knew Sarah better than anyone apart from Olivia. I think they would appriciate you stopping by, don't worry, I'll wait with her" Cragen suggested. Elliot nodded.

"Ok, I'll call Fin" he said. He went over to Olivia and kissed her forehead.

**6.00am**

Elliot made his way up to I.C.U quickly. He met Mr and Mrs Fanning sitting in the hall way. When they saw him they stood up looking grey and exhausted from grief.

"I'm so sorry, the nurse told me, I came as soon as I heard" Elliot said.

"What happened?" he asked. Mrs Fanning sobbed and Mr Fanning found the strength to answer him.

"She's was doing fine until about 12.30, she went into sceptic shock. The doctors couldn't save her" he said putting his arm around his wife.

"If there's any, any at all I can do for you, just let me know, ok?" he said sympathetically. He felt guilty, like he'd failed them because earlier he'd promised them that Sarah would be alright.

"Do you mind if I sat with her for a while?" Elliot asked, hoping he wasn't being too forward, he really needed to see her in order to get closure himself.

"Sure" came Mr Fanning's quiet reply.

He left the gireving couple and went into a side room in the I.C.U. His breath caught in his throat when he saw the young girl's pale form, unplugged from all the machines lying peacefully on on the table. She was still bandaged but she looked as if she was merely sleeping. He look her hand and whispered.

"I'm so sorry, Sarah, I failed you" he said stroking her soft brown hair. Her glasses had been removed and he couldn't believe how different she looked without them.

888

Cragen had left to get a coffee and when he returned he saw Munch standing outside Olivia's room. Elliot must have called him too Cragen thought.

"Hey Captain" Munch said. Elliot had called him and told him to get to the hospital. He didn't know why but came anyway, he hadn't seen Olivia since yesterday afternoon.

"How is she doing?" Cragen asked him hoping there was some sort of development in the few minutes of his absence,

"I don't know who that women is in there but it's not Olivia Benson anymore" Munch said.


	9. Shadows

Hey guys

**Hey guys! Olivia's finally getting out of hospital!**

**(A/N: I had the weirdest SVU dream last night-yeah, I know I get a lot of them!. Anyway, all the case made a 'Rock Star' Video by Nicklebaclk. Anyway…I disgress)**

**Simon Marsden makes an appearance! (he's not mine either!)**

**Shadows**

It had been a few more weeks before Olivia had been discharge and with every day she had made an improvement.She had been kept in because she was refusing to eat and had to be kept on an IV drip. No one had really talked to her about Sarah but they figured that when she did want to talk about it she would indeed talk. She still hadn't said anything. This mutness scared the hell out of Elliot and didn't want to leave her side for a second in case anything happened and she was unable to explain. The last thing he wanted was her to be deemed as mentally unstable. He knew she wasn't, she just needed some time to recover. She was merely a shadow of the Olivia Benson he'd slowly fallen in love with over the years.

The day she was discharged from Elliot got the shock of his life when he took Olivia home to her apartment. Now matter how much he wanted to be near her 24/7 he knew there was no way that bringing her home to his and Kathy's place was going to swing. Huang had told him that getting back to normal as soon as possible would help so Casey said she would stay with Olivia in her apartment until Olivia was back on her feet.

Elliot and Casey met outside Olivia's apartment building and as Elliot drove up outside Olivia muttered, he was so surpised he thought it was wishfull thinking that she was talking but she said it again.

"That's Simon's car" She said it like she was a young child, Elliot had to admit it, she sounded like a victim. Scared, alone, empty. That was the only way he could describe it even though it pained him to say it. Casey was standing by the car that was indeed Simon's and waved when she saw them. She knocked on the car window and Simon got out.

"Yeah, I called him for you is that alright?" Elliot said, cursing himself, he spoke to her as is he was talking to a victim. She nodded and went quiet again. He helped her out of the car. Simon ran over to her an enveloped her in bear hug, she quivered under his touch and Elliot cut in putting his arm around her.

"It's ok Simon, She's just a little shaken up…Casey, can you take her upstairs, I'll be up in a minute" he said, Casey smiled and lead Olivia inside. Elliot took Simon aside.

"Where the hell have you been?" he said out of earshot of Olivia and Caset. Simon shook his head in shame.

"I've been away on business, I came as soon as I heard, what happened?" he asked.

"She was abducted alone with a 16 year old girl. She was forced to watch the girl being tortured"

"Is she ok?" Simon stuttered.

"Well it depends who you mean. Sarah is dead and Olivia has said nothing apart from crying and muttering a few random phrases in the last 3 weeks. So I'd say that the situation is not good at all" Elliot said cringing at the harshness of the reality.

"But she's gonna be alright soon right?" Simon said.

"I don't know, I really don't know" he said rubbing his forehead with his hand.

"But she's got you" Simon said. He was fully aware of what was going on between them. Simon was one of the few people that Olivia had shared her secret feelings about Elliot with.

Elliot didn't respond, unsure of what to say to that comment.

"I've got to go home Kathy's working so I've got to babysit EJ. I'll call every hour!" Elliot said looking at his watch. Simon nodded.

"I went to to grocery store before I came so we've got something for lunch. Me and Casey will be fine" Simon said assurring Elliot with a pat on the shoulder.

"Call me if anything happens, you got it?" he said. Simon nodded smiling.

"She'll be fine" Simon said. Elliot sighed and got in the car and drove off. He'd never found it so difficult to drive away from someone before.

The afternoon had been pleasant. Casey, Olivia and Simon had made lunch and spent hours watching movies. It was the easiest thing to do soon and conversation was not an option. Without fail, Elliot phoned every hour on the hour.

"Jesus Elliot! You've interupted this film twice now!" Casey said

"You've got to let her find her own feet. You've got her wrapped in cotton wool" Casey said sternly. Her heart warmed at his affections towards her friend.

A few hours later, Simon had gone out to get Pizza and Ice-cream for dinner which left Casey and Olivia alone in the apartment. Olivia was looking at the photos in her albums. They were scattered across the floor. Casey came out of the kitchen and saw what she was looking at. She tried to talk to her as normal as possible. Olivia Benson wasn't a victim was she?

"What you got there Liv?" _Damn_ she thought, _I can't help it. She is a victim._

She noticed that tears were streaming down Olivia's face. Casey thought about calling Elliot, it was 8.30.

"Hey?" she said kneeling down beside Olivia she put her arm around her friend. This only made Olivia cry even harder. _Where's Simon with that damn pizza? _Casey said.

"What's wrong?" Casey asked gently.

"I want my mom!" she sobbed. These were the first words Casey had heard Olivia say since the abduction. She made her decision. She knew Elliot would want to be here to comfort her.

_Guess I should call Elliot, after all._

"Hey, Elliot, It's Casey…"

**A/N: I just had a thought while I was writing this. What about Simon and Casey getting together? Just a thought to leave with you.**


	10. Empty

Hey guys, I'm back finally

**Hey guys, I'm back finally! Had a very busy week away with orchestra and haven't had the chance to update. But I'm back now and got updates for you all.**

**Empty**

Elliot had made the journey across town in minutes; upon arriving at Olivia's apartment building he met Simon in the lobby with the awaited pizza and ice-cream.

"What the hell is going on?" Elliot said flustered. Simon shook his head.

"What do you mean? I just went out to get pizza" Simon said confused.

"Casey called me, said something was wrong with Olivia" Elliot said before running up the stairs skipping two or three steps as he ran up closely followed by Simon.

Elliot thumped on the door and Casey answered it immediately.

"Thank god you're here!" she said opening the door and letting them through. Elliot pushed past her into the apartment and saw Olivia sitting on the floor sobbing. He went to put his arms around her but she attempted to crawl away from him.

"How long has she been like this" Elliot said over Olivia's crying.

"I called you as soon as it started, she hasn't stopped. She just keeps crying and muttering Sarah all the time, I didn't know what else to do" Casey said on the verge of tears herself after seeing her friend in such distress.

"I'm glad you called me" Elliot turned to her before turning back to Olivia. He reached out his hand to her as she was now beside the sofa with her knees drawn up to her chest.

"It's ok, Olivia. It's Elliot, I'm right here. Can you hear me?" Elliot said but she just kept muttering sober apologies to Sarah.

"What's happening?" Simon said standing by Casey.

"I don't know, I think she's breaking out of the silence" Elliot said trying to reach her.

"Olivia? Please, please talk me. I'll be able to help you if you tell me what's wrong" Elliot whispered, trying to calm Olivia down.

"It's ok, everything is going to be alright, no one is gonna hurt you, ok?" Elliot soothed. Olivia uncurled herself out of the ball she'd made herself into and flung herself into his arms. More sobs erupted from her body and his shirt was drenched with her tears. He sat on the floor with her until her sobs died down and she fell into a deep sleep. Casey and Simon had stayed near by in case anything else might of happened. It was gone 11pm before Elliot decided to put her to bed; he gently lifted her up into his arms and carried her to her bedroom. He lay her down on the bed and pulled the duvet up around her shoulder. He sat on the edge of the bed for a few moments and brushed the hair out of her eyes, he smiled she se moved towards his touch. He went to get up to leave but her hand emerged from under the duvet and grabbed his hand.

"Don't leave me" she said. He'd never heard her sound so broken and it broke his heart to hear her so afraid. He slipped off his shoes and moved to the other side of the bed. He lay on top on the duvet and took her in his arms. It felt so natural and she fit into his chest so comfortably it was like they were two puzzle pieces meant to fit together. It wasn't long before he himself fell into deep slumber.

Simon and Casey had adopted the sofa after Elliot had taken Olivia into her room. They assumed that he would stay in there with her and didn't think anything of it when he didn't emerge after a few minutes.

"Do you want a drink?" Simon asked Casey, they'd been watching some crap late night movie and Simon had decided that conversation might be a better way to spend the time.

"No thanks," Casey said with a heavy sigh.

"I wish I could have been here sooner" Simon said holding a glass of brandy which he'd found in one of the cupboards. He didn't know Olivia had a taste for brandy but then again he didn't know much about her at all.

"There was nothing you could have done, it wouldn't have changed anything" Casey replied.

"I know, but seeing her like this scares me, she's my big sister and I can't stand the thought that I can't do anything to help her" he said downing his glass.

"She's seen a lot over the years, after a while you seem to just get on with it, she told me. I never seen her like this either, Simon, the Olivia I know is head strong, funny, caring, smart beautiful. Now she's just like an empty shell of what she used to be" Casey said staring at the TV screen.

"Elliot said something about getting her to see a therapist" Simon said swirling the contents of his cup.

"Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't but we have to give it a try. At least she's talking a little now, it's better than nothing even if she doesn't make sense most of the time" Casey said.

"Better than nothing" Simon said reaching for the bottle.

"She's my friend, and I can't bear to see her like this" Casey said, suddenly bursting into tears. Simon put his arm around her and drew her into a hug.

"I know, we all want her to get better" he said rubbing her shoulder.

"I think the only person who can help her through this is Elliot" she said sniffing and pulling away from Simon's shoulder.

"Isn't he married though?" Simon asked. Casey nodded.

"Divorced but him and Kathy got back together a while ago, but everyone knows it was only because of EJ and Elliot doesn't even know for certain if EJ is really his" Casey said taking the bottle of brandy from Simon and swigged from the bottle.

"What does Kathy think of their relationship, they're very close" Simon said taking the bottle ff her.

"She's always hated the close relationship between them. She's never liked Olivia. As far as she's concerned Olivia is a threat to her... though Olivia would never do anything to get in the way of Elliot's marriage" Casey said.

"But she has, maybe not intentionally. I saw the way he looked at her, you saw it too. We both know who Elliot would rather be with; I mean he's here, isn't he? In Olivia's bed and not his own with his wife, I don't think this is going to be easy for them"

"I don't know, no one said it would be easy but I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. But I'm here to support Olivia NOT Elliot and his marital problems. If he loves Olivia like you think he does then why did he get back with Kathy?" Casey asked. Simon didn't reply.

"You haven't seen them fight and argue like I have" she said.

"They argue?" Simon smiled trying to lighten the mood. Casey laughed.

"They fight like cat and dog sometimes" She said.

"Like an old married couple?" Simon laughed.

"Yeah, I wish it could go back to how it used to be, though. The good old days" Casey said her laughter turning into a more serious tone.

"It will get better"

888

Olivia's sleep was troubled, all the things she wanted to say were trapped up in her head and haunted her in her sleep. She saw Sarah walking around in the same state she had been in when she was in the chair except she had been let free. And she followed Olivia wherever she went. All Olivia could hear was her screaming and crying "Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?" over and over again, getting louder and louder. Olivia sat bolt upright sweating and breathing heavily.

Her quick motion woke Elliot up too. He sat up and turned on the lamp beside the bed.

"What's the matter?" He asked, taking her face in his hands in the dim light. He brushed the tears out of her eyes with his thumbs.

"It was just a dream" she said gasping for breath.

"Sarah was in it" finished, nausea swirling in her stomach.

"You want to talk about it?" Elliot asked gently, massaging her shoulder.

"No, I don't want to. I'm sorry Elliot but I just can't. Not right now" she said. Rubbing her eyes with her hands.

"It's ok, take your time, lie back down and get some sleep" he soothed encouraging her to lie back down with him.

"What time is it?" she said as she relaxed into his hands around her shoulders as he lay her back down.

"Almost 2:30" he said looking at his watch.

"Have you been here the whole time?" she asked embarrassed

"Do you want me to leave?" he said. Olivia shook her head quickly.

"No, I don't want to be alone" she said clutching his shirt.


	11. Victim

Hey guys

**Hey guys? What's up? I really should be studying hard for my exams but I'm really not motivated for it, so I thought I'd please you guys with another chapter.**

**On a more serious note, I don't know if you already know about it but apparently theres a serious virus going around. It was discovered by macfee yesterday and microsoft don't know how to fix it. Basically, it comes in the form of an email entitled POSTCARD. It may say it has come from someone you know but DO NOT open it. As soon as you do the virus is passed on to everyone else in your contact list. This virus burns the whole computer hard drive so just to warn you. I don't know if it is true but better to be safe than sorry. **

**Anyway, on with the show. **

**Victim**

The next morning, Olivia had woken early. Her throat was dry so she un coiled herself from Elliot's strong arms and went into the kitchen for a glass of water. She smiled when she saw Casey and her brother fast asleep on her sofa. She padded across the living room and took the brandy from Simon's clutches. _How did her find that? _She mused to herself.

She walked back through into the kitchen and reached into the cupboard for a glass. As she opened the glass door she saw Elliot's reflection in the panel and dropped the glass she was holding in shock.

"Shit! Elliot don't do that! You scared me!" she said bending down to tend to the shards of glass littered at her feet. Elliot came to her side in a second and the sudden noise had woken Simon and Casey.

"Sorry, Liv. I didn't mean it" He said helping her with the glass.

"Ouch" Elliot said his finger flying into his mouth as he cut it on a shard of glass.

"What's going on?" Casey asked sleepily.

"What time is it?" Simon said running his hand through his hair.

"It's nothing I just…" Olivia was about to explain but then she saw the blood dripping off his finger she gasped. All of a sudden her mind shut off from what was going on around her and she could see Sarah again calling into the depth of her mind, her face and body covered in blood, similar in colour to the blood on Elliot's finger. _Olivia. Olivia. Olivia. _Sarah called but slowly her voice morphed back into Elliot's and she returned to normality. He had put a band aid over his finger and was holding her hands in his.

"Olivia? Are you alright?" she looked at him confused. She nodded.

"Yeah, I think so, I don't know what happened" she said looking around at the familiar surroundings of her kitchen.

"We thought we'd lost you there for a minute" Simon said taking a sip of orange juice from the carton.

"Simon, pour it into a glass like the rest of us human beings" She scolded. Simon did as he was told. Elliot looked at her in concern, the sort of back to normal Olivia was back…for now. The slightest things like blood and loud noises threw her straight back into the hours of the horrific ordeal she had suffered and he hadn't a clue what to do to help her apart from being there for her.

"What are we still doing here on the floor?" she said getting up, no longer feeling thirsty. She just wanted to get away from all the eyes staring at her in concern. Looking at her like a victim. That was the last thing she needed right now.

"I'm going for a shower…help yourself to breakfast" she said dissapearing into her bedroom before slamming the door. Elliot, Casey and Simon looked at each other in confusion.

"At least she's speaking to us now" Simon said trying to sound optimystic but he knew as well as the others that what they were dealing with was out of their control.

"All we can do is be there for her" Casey said. Elliot frowned.

"It's not enough. I want the old Olivia back. I need the old Olivia back" Elliot said looking at the closed bedroom door.

"I don't think she's coming back" Casey said. The awquard silence was broken when Elliot's cell phone rang. He answered it hastily.

"Stabler?" he said professionally.

"_Elliot? It's Cragen"_

"Oh, Hi Captain"

"_How's Olivia doing?"_

"Better, she's talking a lot more but she's still shaken up" Elliot said trying to tear his eyes away from the bedroom door.

"_Well, I was just ringing to say that Huang is in this morning. I thought maybe it would be a good idea to start her therapy sessions. It's been weeks…do you think she's up to talking about it yet?" _Cragen said knowing full well Elliot would be protective off her welfare

"She doesn't want to talk to anyone about it, she's ok when she's not thinking about it. Therapy might knock her back" Elliot tried to argue.

"_You know that is not the case…just bring her in this morning for an appointment at 10 with Huang and we'll see how things go, ok?" _Cragen finished.

"Ok, I'll see you then, yeah, ok, bye" Elliot said breifly before hanging up.

"Who was that?" Simon asked, munching on a piece of toast. Elliot sighed in dismay.

"It was Cragen, our boss. He thinks she should start therapy" Elliot said staring at the cell phone in his hand to avoid eye contact with the other two people in the room.

"When?" Casey said.

"This morning, at 10" Elliot said.

"At the Precinct? You mean where she was abducted? Are they crazy!" Casey said angrily.

"It's suppost to be part of the healing process, she's got to face it sooner or later" he said shaking his head. He didn't like the idea of Olivia being in any more pain than she'd already suffered.

"I choose sooner" Olivia said from the doorway. Her hair was wet and hung down around her shoulders. She was dressed casually, ready to go out. It was almost as if she'd been expecting it.

"Are you sure? Because of you don't want to I'll call them back" he said opening his cell. She walked up to him and took it from him. Laying it down on the counter.

"I need to do this, Elliot. You can't keep me from the world, not even you can do that. I'll do this with or without your support" she said.

"Of course you'll have my support. I'll be with you every step of the way" he said taking her into his arms and held her close.

"I just don't want anymore bad things to happen to you" he said muttering into her damp hair.

"Nothing bad will happen to me, I've got you, remember?" she said in such a way that made Elliot's hart feel warm and full of happiness, knowing the Olivia trusted him with her life. He would do his best to make her happy.

"Shall we go now? Then we can get some air" she suggested, pulling away from Elliot's comfortable embrace. He nodded reaching for his keys.

"You two go, I'm gonna grab a shower then I have to go to work" Casey said.

"Do you need a lift?" Simon asked.

"Yeah, that would be great" Casey smiled.

"I don't have anything else to do, then I'll meet you guys at the precinct" Simon said. Elliot nodded.

"Sounds like a plan" Elliot said helping Olivia into her coat as Casey went off into the bathroom.

888

Olivia and Elliot made their way down to the car in an uncomfortable silence.

"Can you come in with me?" Olivia asked nervously.

"Of course I will, then after, I'll take you and Simon out for a bite to eat, does that sound ok?" he asked.

"Maybe, I might not feel up to eating" she said looking at her handing to avoid looking at him.

"Whatever you want is fine with me" he said, he took one of her hand, hoping she wouldn't mind and he was pleased when she didn't resist.

"I liked it last night" she said suddenly as they got into the car. Elliot started the ignition.

"What?" he asked pulling out into the morning traffic.

"You, keeping me company, I don't like being on my own" she said looking at him. The traffic came to a standstill and he turned and looked at her.

"You'll never be on your own" he said.

"What does Kathy think about all this?" she asked.

"I don't know, I don't really care. We drifted apart a long time ago. We only got back together for EJ's sake but we both know it's not working out" he said focusing on the road even though the traffic wasn't moving.

"Is it all because of what happened to me and Sarah because if it is I don't want to be responsible for the death of your marriage" she said feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt. Elliot looked at her, his eyes pools of emotion and desire for things to be easy.

"Our marriage died years ago. None of it is your fault. Don't ever think it was your fault"

"I don't deserve you lliot, I really don't" Olivia said close to tears but she didn't want to arrive at the precinct a nervous wreck before she'd even started. Sje wanted to be strong for Elliot and their future if they had one.

**A.N: Next chap, Olivia opens up in her first therapy session. Stay tuned folks!**


	12. Therapy

Therapy

**Therapy **

Huang had insisted that Elliot waited outside the interview room. Elliot wasn't happy about it but even though Olivia had asked him to stay with her she had decided that she didn't want him to be there when she admitted how weak she was and how she coulnd't save the life of an innocent young women. She had got it into her head that Elliot would hate her for it.

Elliot was dissapointed when Olivia agreed that it would be for th best that he waited outside. All he wanted to do was take her hand and guide her through it but she didn't want him to. Was she afraid? He didn't know but he wished that he did. He clneched his fists nervously as he waited outside. He got up and peered into the window from time to time but realised it might be unsettling for her. He knew, he hoped that someday she would share it with him.

"Elliot? Are you alright?" Munch said coming around the corner with two coffees.

"Captain said you were bringing Olivia in, I got you a coffee" he said handing it to Elliot who took it greatfully.

"Do you want to go into the observation room?" Munch asked. Elliot shook his head.

"She changed her mind about me being in there. When she wants me to know what happened, she'll tell me. But hiding in the oberservation room is an invasion of her privacy" Elliot said. Munch patted him on the shoulder before walking away.

888

"So," Huang began, this was hard even for him. It was alright talking to strangers everyday about their problems but when it was someone he knew so well. It scared him that even the strongest of people can be victims.

"Can you remember what happened prior to the abduction?" he asked slowly and as professionally as he could.

" We'd been to visit Sarah" she started

"You and Elliot?" Huang certified. Olivia nodded.

"We went to tell her about her stalker and we arranged a stake out for that evening. We left and we argued" she said already starting to stumble and she hadn't even got to the worst part yet.

"What did you argue about?" Huang asked.

"I don't know, something stupid. I said that I thought we were being targetted rather than her. And he said it was a silly idea so I snapped at him and ignored him for the rest of the day"

"Did he try to talk to you?" Huang said not focusing on his note book anymore.

"Yeah, but I just left…I went downstairs to get some fresh air. I left the building, went down the steps and stopped at the sidewalk" she said recounting every detail. She knew that there was a divide line between most vitcims; they either didn't remember a thing or they could remember everything and that was what drove them out of their mind.

"I went to cross the road but something stuck me on the back of my head…everything went black" she paused not sure if she wanted to continue with her account, knowing that Elliot would waiting outside. She didn't really know what she wanted, she didn't want him here because she was scared of what he'd say but on the other hand she didn't think she could open up without him.

"Olivia? Are you alright?" Huang asked noticing tat she was figiting.

"Actually, I…I think I would actually like Elliot to sit with me in here" she stumbled knowing this could be the biggest mistake but she was going to take the risk anyway. She wanted to recount this event once and once only and never speak of it again. Huang nodded silently and got up. He went out and Olivia sipped her glass of water, her hands shaking. Elliot came into the interview room and sat down beside her. She kept her distance.

"So, went you came to?" Huang promted.

"I couldn't see anything I could hear Sarah crying. At first I thought I was blind. I tried to feel my face but my hands were bound to the chair as were my legs" she tried to remain calm.

"He took it off my face and my eyes stung as they adjusted to the light. I saw Sarah in a chair opposite. They were like I don't know…those old fashioned dentist chairs you used to get…I was always afriad of the dentist…" she said stalling the subject of Sarah's torture. She could feel her eyes burnin with hot tears.

"You know before I even heard Sarah crying it was the smell that scared me, the irony smell, of blood in the air. His hands were cold and wet with blood on them when he took the blind fold off" she said her sentences becoming less coherant by the minute but Elliot and Huang tried to make sense of it as best as they could.

"I asked him…"she said but Huang interrupted her.

"Who was he? Olivia?" Huang asked.

"You and I both know the bastards name and I'd rather not say it" she said bitterly and venumously. But she calmed when she realised her harshness.

"If you don't mind…please don't say his name, please" she said quiter than before. Huang nodded in acceptance. Elliot said nothing as he sat beside her his insides turning to sludge at the brokeness in her voice.

"I asked him why he had done what he did and what it had to do with Sarah and you know what the most ironic thing was? I was right. Silly Detective Benson was right" she didn't look at Elliot as she quoted his words from that day.

"Sarah had nothing to do with it. She was just bait for me! For what I did. It was all my fault...I should be dead not her. But he said I would suffer more if I was alive, he said if I was dead I'd be free. With Sarah dead, she wouldn't have to suffer at my hand, she wouldn't have to live with what I had done and yet I would have to live with her death!" it was obviously now that Elliot and Huang were having difficulty understanding her but the anger towards herself was growing and both men knew this anger had to be freed before any sense of normality could be returned.

"He had no intension of hurting me physically. Oh my god the syringe, oh my god her screaming! I've never heard anything like it!. Her screaming! Her desperation. She kept screaming my name for me to help her but I couldn't. I just sat there and closed my eyes and hoped it would be over soon. But when he pulled her teeth out I just knew it wouldn't be over for a long time" she said. Elliot tried to put his hand on hers but she pulled it away. She didn't know what her feelings were towards him right now.

"The blood all over her face. She coughed it all up and sobbed and… there was nothing I could no. I prayed and prayed that someone would come but I gave up after a while…after he told them that no one would come for us after they knew what an evil person I was. He said it so much and so often I truly believe him" she said.

"Olivia, listen to me. He was manipualting you, there was nothing you could do, none of this was your fault!" Huang said sternly but she had no intension of listening to him.

"Yes it was! I should never have left her at the studio on her own, I should have looked after her! If I'd taken her with us this probably would have never happened like it did" she yelled

"Yes but it would have still happened! Olivia if you carry on believing that you are responsible for a pychotic man's actions then you are never going to feel better" Huang said.

"I don't deserve to feel better Huang! Sarah should still be here! Alive! But she's not. I have to tell myself it will be alright knowing that an innocent girl who was just a child died on my hands! She was just a child!" she sobbed. Elliot went to put his arm around her to comfort her.

"Get off me!" she snarled.

"I don't deserve this" she screamed.

"She was stripped of all her human rights! She was tortured to death! And it's all my fault!" she said getting up from her chair, anger ranging through her body, screaming, she threw her chair across the room and pushed her glass of water on the floor, it shattered and Huang and Elliot stood up and watched her act of rage. Elliot went to stop her but Huang stopped him.

"Leave her Elliot, she needs to do this" Huang said standing back.

"Are you crazy? She's gonna hurt herself!" he said ingoring Huang's instructions. He stood infront of Olivia's warpath. She threw herself at him and began to hit him violently on his strong chest.

"Why don't you hate me! You should hate me for what I did I don't deserve anything good from anyone of you!" she screamed, tears rolling uncontrollably down her face. Elliot grabbed her by the arms but she faught him off.

"Listen to me, Olivia, Honey, Look at me! None of this was your fault. What happened to Sarah was tragic but it wasn't your fault, you can't keep balming yourself! It's not going to bring her back. What happened was in the past but now you have to focus on what's right in front of you!" he said trying to calm her the best he could.

"What are you saying?" she screamed fghting against his strength.

"Me, Olivia!" he said his voice beginning to strain.

She suddenly gave up her fight and collasped into his chest crying hysterically. Her punches dissolved and she clutched his shirt like it was the only thing she had left. When she relaxed. Elliot pulled her to him and stroked her hair.

"Shush…It's gonna be alright now, I promise, just let it all out…nobody hates you, I don't hate you…I love you" he said so matter of factly it sounded completely natural. She looked up in confusion.

"What did you just say?" she said hiccuping. He brought her chin up to meet his eyes.

"I said I love you" he said again.

"You don't hate me for what I did?" she said her voice wavering.

"No, I could never hate you" he said pulling her into a tighter hug.

They stood there in each others arms for what seemed like eternity but for them it didn't really matter.

**TBC…**

**A.N: So? What did you guys think? OTT? Let me know!**


	13. Realisation

Hey guys-just a short chapter today

**Hey guys-just a short chapter today! Not feeling so great but wanted to keep you updated! It's from the team's POV more than anything else.**

**BTW JesseLuvsSVU, I too was thinking of that scene in twister when I wrote that bit! Great minds think a like. **

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! No matter how ill I feel! **

**Realisation.**

They'd known it was an invasion of Olivia's privacy but no one expected what they heard. Ok, they sort of did but never thought that the dynamic duo would ever admit the truth to each other. No matter how bad the situation. It was only then, as they watched their co-workers stand in a loving embrace how blind they'd been not to notice it sooner.

They were all shocked at what they had seen and stood in silence. Simon and Casey had entered about half way through and their eyes fell on the scene before them.

Cragen was torn. What should he do? He knew the rules and the rules were that no partners could be in a romantic relationship together. But then again, none of them were suppost to be watching this confrontation so he decided to keep it quite until they came before him to admit the truth for themselves.

Munch and Fin now had to deal with their winnings. When Elliot first slipt with his wife, they formed a bet to see who would admit their feelings to who first. This time around, it was Munch who ended up a few dollars richer.

Casey was pleased for her friend but sad all the same that it had taken such a situation for the feelings to be revealed. She wanted nothing more than to sit down and have a good chat with her best friend but she knew more than anybody that now was not a good time.

No one in the observation room and seen or heard Kathy enter the precinct let alone the observation room behind them. She stood quietly behind them and took everything in calmly but deeply hurt none the less.

"Did you guys know about this?" Kathy asked, making the team jump as she starled them with her presence.

"Kathy, I'm sorry you had to find out this way" Cragen started.

"You didn't answer my question. Did you know?" she said angrily. She received a bundle of nods from everyone else in the room.

"In not so many words" Munch whispered. Knowing what Kathy must be going through having experienced several marriage breakdowns himself.

Elliot suddenly appeared in the doorway with his arm comfortably around Olivia's shoulders, a look of dismay spread across his features.

"I'm sorry, Kathy" Elliot said.

"I know, so everyone keeps telling me…you know, I guess I always sort of knew" she said turning away from everyone.

"What are you gonna tell the kids?" Elliot asked. Kathy turned around to face him.

"I leave it up to you. I think you owe them that" She said before walking out of the precinct silently.

**a.n: Don't know if I really liked this one, please leave a review-it'll make me feel better!**


	14. Requiem

Hey, I'm back

**Hey, I'm back! I know I haven't updated for an age. People keep wanting my services-I must have played at atleast three charity events. It's hard to keep track.**

**Anyway, on with the story, only a few more chapters to go unless you think it should take longer to round off?**

**Disclamer: I own diddly sqat!**

**I thought it would be realistic to include Sarah's memorial service? Bad idea or not? Read it and tell me what you think.**

**Requiem**

A week later, no one had said anything about what happened during the therapy session or what happened after it. Elliot and Olivia decided it would be best if Elliot moved in with Olivia and they'd see where it went from there. Elliot made sure that the children were out when he moved out all his stuff but made it priority that he speak to them honestly for once in his life.

Just as he was packing the final box, the door unlocked suddenly. The children came home sooner than he was expecting. They were laughing and joking but subsided when they saw their father surrounded by boxes.

"Dad, what's going on?" Dickie asked. Elliot paused for a moment, this was going to be harder than he'd ever imagined.

"We need to talk" he said putting down the box he was holding.

"What's there to talk about? It's obvious that your leaving…again!" Kathleen snapped.

"Were you even gonna tell us?" Lizzie said before he could reply. Elliot sighed.

"Listen. You all know full well that your mother and I haven't been getting on so well" he began

"But you said that last time and you got back together when are you going to stop messing us around" Kathleen asked. Her elder sister Maureen who was holding a sleeping EJ, put down the keys laid him down in the carry cot in the living room without saying a word. She knew deep down what was coming next.

"We only got back together for your sakes, for EJ's sakes…it's not fair on you all living in a household full of fighting" he said.

"So where are you going to live daddy?" Lizzie asked. Maureen answered for him.

"Olivia's? aren't you dad?" Maureen said.

"Just until we know what's going on" he said.

"Mom told us what happened, you told Olivia that you loved her. You must obviously know where _it's_ gonna go" Dickie said, not sure whether he was upset or relieved or what. Like the rest of the children he was confused. There was a long painful silence between the father and his children but then Dickie cleared the silence.

"Could have done worse" he said, quite not believing himself for saying it. It hadn't gone unnoticed by anyone that he, himself liked Olivia.

"You can hate me all you want but I'm still your father. Just because me and Olivia are together it doesn't mean I won't have time for you" Elliot said.

"You never have time for us anyway!" Kathleen said. Maureen had had enough of her sister's attitude.

"Give him a break, Kathleen. I don't care what happens as long as everyone is happy and the bickering and the arguing stops. Ok?" she said, silence fell in the room again.

"Dad, I think you'd better go. Everyone's tired and…we'll there's school tomorrow and…we'll call you ok?" Maureen said taking control over the situation. Kathleen, Dickie and Lizzie went off in separate directions and Elliot and Maureen were left in the hallway.

"I'm sorry, Maureen" he said. Maureen shrugged.

"Don't be…you'd better go before Mom gets back" she said before tending to her little brother who had woken during all the commotion. Elliot took the boxes and left.

888

Olivia was alone in the apartment. Since Elliot was moving in, Casey had gone back to her own place and Simon had been called back home for work reasons. He'd promised to visit again in a few weeks. She tried to promise herself she would be brave and turned up the volume on the TV loud so it would drown out any noises that might upsettle her.

As she waited for Elliot's return she sat by the phone in case he rang. She didn't like being on her own, she never did but know since things she had developed a terror for being left alone.

There was a knock at the door. It made her jump and waited a few seconds before she got up to answer it. She looked through the peep whole and saw a middle aged women standing on the other side. She looked familiar but Olivia couldn't remember where from. She opened the door slowly.

"Hello?" Olivia said quietly. The women smiled weakly.

"Hi. My name is Diana Fanning, Sarah's mother, we met at the hospital" the women said, Olivia's muscles clenched at the name and tears welled up behind her eyes.

"Yes?" she said nervously.

"Well, I'm sorry to bother you, how are you doing?" Diana said her own voice wavering as she tried her very hardest to sound happy.

"I'm ok, I guess…what do you want?" Olivia asked, not intending to sound so rude but her only way of coping was by forgetting. She opened the door further to allow Diana to step inside her apartment.

"Well, the precinct gave me your address because they said you were still on compassionate leave. I hope you don't mind but er…It's Sarah's memorial service on Friday and my husband and I were wondering if you'd like to come? Of course, it's ok if you don't want to but we didn't want you to think we'd excluded you…I know you were close to my daughter before she…" Diana's voice caught in her throat, her fake security could only be managed for short periods. She took a memorial service sheet from her handbag, it had Sarah's picture on the front with lots of little pianos on the edge to make a border.

"Where and when" Olivia said without thinking, taking the card from Diana. The least she could do on Sarah's part was to atleast pay her respects to such a vibrant young girl. Saying yes on the phone was the easy part but she awaited Friday december 3rd, 3pm with unwanted tension.

Elliot came home a little while later after Olivia had said goodbye to Diana. He found her watching _Friends_ with the volume turned right up. Above the noise she didn't hear him open the door he put the boxes down and went over to the sofa. He went to put his had on her shoulder but she jumped three feet in the air.

"Oh my God, it's you! Sorry Elliot I…I don't know what I thought" She said relaxing once she knew it was him. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her. She moved closer to him and lay her head on his chest.

"How did it go? Sorry I didn't come" she said playing idilly with one of the buttons on Elliot's shirt.

"Don't worry about it, I was fine, until the children came home early" he said. Olivia sat up.

"What? What did you say to them" she asked, scared that they might hate her for splitting up their family.

"I told them the truth" he said stroking her hair softly and manuvering her head to rest on his chest again.

"How did they take it?" She asked.

"I don't know, I think they were expecting it. But they weren't too happy" he said

"It's understandable. They think I've stolen you" Olivia muttered into his shirt. He stopped stroking her hair and craddled her face in his hands.

"Stop saying that you're the blame of everything because your not! My marriage to Kathy died years ago. We only got back together because of EJ. This is not your fault…and they don't hate you" he said calming down a little. He hated it when Olivia was adement that people hated her and blamed her for everything because what she was thinking couldn't have been more further away from the truth. And nothing he said could ever convince her otherwise.

"Diana Fanning came over while you were out" Olivia said, detangling herself from Elliot's arms and leaned across the coffee table to reach Sarah's memorial card. She passed it to Elliot to took it and looked inside, his eyes deep with sorrow.

"She wanted to know if I wanted to go" Olivia said trying not to let her emotions get the better of her. Elliot looked at her in concern.

"Do you want to go?" Elliot asked.

"Of course I do, I just…don't know if I can do it" She said sounding ashamed.

"It's three days away, have a think about it and if you want, we can go together" Elliot suggested but Olivia had fallen asleep on his chest and didn't reply.

888

Friday came quicker than Olivia could have imagined. It was 1.30pm and she still wasn't sure if she wanted to go. She was in her and Elliot's bedroom standing infront of her wardrobe wondering what to wear if she did go. Elliot called to her from the kitchen.

"Honey are you ok? Lunch is done" he said dishing up the pasta equally onto plates and putting them on the table. She came out in sweatpants and a t-shirt. She looked tired.

"Have you decided what you want to do? There's still time if you want to change your mind" Elliot asked gently. Olivia shook her head.

"No, I want to go, I need to go" Elliot simply nodded in response and they ate their meal in silence.

888

It was five to three and Olivia and Elliot sat in the car as they watched the other people gather into the church, it was an unusually bright day for december, it was crisp but the bright sunshine disguised the coldness of the air.

"Are you ready?" Elliot said taking her hand. Olivia nodded. They stepped out of the car and made their way into the church. When they stepped into the vast building, Diana came over to them.

"I'm glad you came, Olivia, she would have wanted you to be here" she said pointing to a vacant pew. Elliot saw Munch, Fin and Cragen sitting further towards the front. Almost as soon as they'd sat down the service began.

Most of it was a blur for Olivia who sat there and shut herself off from what was going on around her. She suddenly came back into reality when music started playing. She recognised it immediately and that was when the tears surfaced her eyes. The music was an arrangement of _Over the Rainbow _by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. The large gathering of people followed the coffin out of the church to Sarah's final resting place. Munch, Fin and Cragen caught up with Elliot and Olivia just as they were reaching the grave site.

"How are you holding up Liv?" Fin asked but Olivia just looked at him sadly. They'd seen her cry enough over the months and she didn't want them to see her upset anymore. Elliot tightened his grip around her shoulders and halted as everyone gathered around.

888

The burial was over quickly and after Sarah's greif stricken parents were lead away, Olivia was able to get up close to Sarah's grave. She approached it slowly with Elliot at her side but she stopped.

"Can you give me a minute?" She asked. Elliot nodded and went back over to Cragen who was standing with Munch and Fin by the funeral cars.

"How is she really doing, Elliot?" Munch asked him. Elliot shrugged.

"I honestly couldn't tell you. She's trying to be brave but I'm not sure how long that brave face is going to last.

888

Olivia knelt down at the freshly turned soiled and traced her fingers over the engravings on Sarah's headstone. She couldn't hold the tears in any longer and weeped, her tears mixing with the tears of others in the soil.

"I'm so sorry" She whispered.

"I failed you, I know, I'm sorry…please forgive me" she said. Elliot, Cragen, Munch and Fin looked over at her. Elliot went to go and comfort her but Cragen stopped him.

"Leave her Elliot, she some time alone. Things happened to her and Sarah that we will probably never know about. She has a bond with Sarah and I think she needs to do this by herself" Cragen said wisely. Although it pained Elliot to say so, he thought Cragen was right.

They turned their backs to the grave to give Olivia more privacy. Sarah's father came over to see her.

"Are you ok Miss?" he said looking down at her.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Mr Fanning I was just going…" she went to get up but he put his hand on her shoulder and stopped her.

"Stay as long as you need, my name's Simon by the way. I remember you from the hospital-you were with Sarah weren't you?" he said calmy. Olivia was amazed at how level headed he was for a time like this.

"I tried everything I could honestly I promise I tried and tried…" Olivia rambled.

"Thank you" he said silencing her.

"For what?" she said in astonishment.

"For being with her, atleast she wasn't alone and for that I thank you with all my heart" he said hugging her.

He got up.

"We're having drinks at the Music Gallery where she spent most of her time. Please come." He said before leaving her alone at his daughter's grave. She got up after a few minutes and made her way back to Elliot, her legs wobbly.

"Olivia?" he said, not really sure what to save to her.

"Elliot, just take me home, please" she whispered.


End file.
